A chat with Sarah, Run Talk Run Wokingham
On the blog this week is a lovely catch up with Sarah who leads Run Talk Run Wokingham! Sarah is generous in sharing her story of a breakdown, and her thoughts on dealing with the nerves pre-RTR are something to truly let sink into your brain and bones.
Tell us a bit about your running and/or mental health journey so far. *if you go to a RTR, please specify which!
I’m Sarah Sylvester and I’m the Run Leader for RTR Wokingham. I initially started running 7 years ago to lose weight and build fitness and was soon hooked with the physical and mental strength that it delivered. Surprisingly, running made me feel good, and I was also pretty good at it but only as a solo endeavour. After about 4 years, my relationship with running turned obsessive and I started competing with myself in miles and speed. My self worth at that time was very low and I constantly strived for perfection, aiming for a metaphorical and physical destination. If I didn’t achieve a time target, I’d beat myself up and when I injured myself, as I did frequently, it was punishment for being a bad runner.
In July 2019, I suffered a very painful and public mental breakdown at work, the culmination of the mental and physical speed in which I was operating at and it was time to stop. After my breakdown, I didn’t speak for 4 days and was reluctant to leave the house, except to run. Without realising, running was my safety net, my home base and mentally helped to save my life. After discovering RTR and running with Reading, I set up RTR Wokingham in September 2019, the first run was the day before my birthday and I ran it solo, I didn’t care. I was home.
What brought you to Run Talk Run specifically?
For a long time, I felt ashamed and embarrassed for the thoughts I was having about my mental health. After slowing down and allowing my thoughts space to play out I started to question whether I was the only one to feel this way so started a search for like minded individuals who would listen non-judgmentally to the weird and wacky wonders that I had circling in my head. My husband Martyn, who I also ran with, had been following Jess for some time and suggested we join the Reading run. We ran our first one together on our 19th Wedding Anniversary.
In what ways does running (and RTR!) help you?
Running helps me to slow down, connect with nature and reimagine the love of the simple things that make me happy. Breathing, Movement, Space and Joy.
What would you say to someone who was nervous about coming to a Run Talk Run?
You may think that you’re nervous and the more you think about it the more you panic. You may spend a great deal of time trying to figure out and solve your nerves, and end up feeling frustrated. You may think your nerves are bad, unique to you and, with the right mind training, you can outwit them. Now imagine a life without nerves, a life lurking that’s free of all that’s unnecessary and notice whether you can allow that life in. Being human, your thinking mind can create barriers that force you to quit. If you allow it, you have the mind to stop your wellness journey. However, with inner trust, you are innately built with the ability to experience the deliciousness of life by letting go of the need to figure it out.