Melancholy – written by Trevor Rawson

 Q. How can you focus on what really matters every day while there is still time?

A. First decide what really matters.

Very occasionally Melancholy surfaces.  Most of the time I conceal that something unexpected that really matters to me has occurred.  Nothingness, overwhelming sadness it’s very difficult to describe the feeling of emptiness.  There is a poignant visual residing on the banks of Lake Genève, a sculpture by Albert Gyorgy titled “Melancolie”.

In 2014 I was contacted by Laura who wanted to learn how to run to lose weight and get fitter.  During that first meeting Laura gave me a tremendous smile and announced without hesitation “I’m, 39, far too heavy and in remission from cancer.  I want to change so that I can see my children grow up and complete a Moonwalk Marathon”.  I charge high for Personal Training but treat that as a last resort preferring to explore all the free options first.  At that time I was running two suitable funded courses for weight management and first steps to fitness.  Laura’s enthusiasm was infectious and she made a fantastic start.  Soon her fitness was sufficient to walk parkrun in 55-minutes; several weeks later walk/jog 37-minutes.  I met her family; loving husband, two teenage children, siblings and her parents who also joined my exercise groups and parkrun.  They all supported her and in just 6-months parkrun down to 34:15-minutes and 4.5-stone gone.  On my recommendation she moved on to another instructor to join the dance/bouncy exercise classes I could not provide and soon it was 6,7 & 8 was shed.  The whole family became involved in parkrun and there was some fantastic health improvements for them all.  Laura planned for her future; retrain and start her own business; everything important to her was materialising.  Holidays and lots of activities with her children creating new memories.  In September 2015 Laura completed the Moonwalk with her brothers.   Working with this lady was really special, never has anyone been more motivated, positive and happy.

2016 secondary diagnosis not treatable.  NOOOOOOOOOO!  It hit everyone like a sledgehammer.  The only person still smiling was Laura right up to the end just a few months later.  Link to the parkrun Run Report dedicated to her memory.

Melancholy for me is here again.  I will decide what important, smile is and get on with it. Just as Laura did.  My recovery begins with every running step, remembering with fondness the good times spent with all those who have gone before.  Then I will decide what really matters right now.

Next time Melancholy will be gone.  Until then I leave you with quote by Elie Wessel “If I were immersed in constant Melancholy I would not be who I am”.



Thurrock parkrun Run Report #59

Trevor Rawson is a self-employed Health Coach enjoying life in Norfolk.  He has lots of bits of paper, awards and accolades.  More importantly he uses his broad range of experience to support people towards improving their mental and physical health by activity and nutrition.  Having used his own methodology to overcome General Anxiety Disorder and Depression he is pleased to share his unique story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s